Learning Outcomes:
Identifies own strengths and areas for personal growth
Shows commitment to activities and perseverance in the face of challenges
Demonstrates skills and recognizes the benefits of working collaboratively
Before I wrote this reflection, I looked back on my last post to just kinda recall my past memories for this exed. I was surprised as I wrote my reflection in a very different way yet honest and pure(?) I thought I was still the person who thinks a lot about what other people would say about my opinion, but on that post, I wrote exactly how I remember it without any filter. Last semester I was happy with the fact that I am being okay with not doing my best in both; show and study for the sake of my mental healthiness. I was prioritizing my personal happiness than what people would expect me to. But now, this semester I've kinda developed more into that and really saying no to something if I don't feel like it or I don't feel it'd give me any benefits. Now, I'll take you into my actual reflection this semester~
As you may see in the picture, it's time for the second show of the year, MEMORY! First of all, let me be real, this shows no matter how much I resent them (hehe), it was a great show. A lot of improvisation has been made, and many of the students really get their skit together. It was a well-prepared and well-organized show for the final product. However, as always, the final product does not resemble the actual process. Okay, let me start this.
I was not part of the team anymore. Yup, I wasn't. Before this show started, I was still part of the tech stage team, attending all the meetings captured on the video below. But then I was overwhelmed by the current situation at that time and decided to focus on the Trials Exam for the IB rather than working on the show the week before. I thought I would have more time to participate in other projects as there's still some time left on the year. But now I realized that was the last project for the tech stage team to work together because the school decided to send everyone home sooner due to COVID-19. Do I have regret? not really it was just a bit sad that I didn't get to be part of the team for their last project, but I didn't regret the time I spent for myself during the rehearsal time. What I want to reflect wasn't the year-end-early related stuff, but the process on how I feel when I was not part of the team for Memory Showcase. On the other side, I was happy that I finally can say and decide things for my own. I put up the courage to say to the leaders that I can not do this because I don't want to. I mean it was mostly because of Trials is coming and I wanted to prepare the best I could, but it also partly because I just don't have the passion anymore. The first reason why I wanted to join this exed is to get to know many people as possible and putting myself out there so people would recognize me and just simply have skills in organizing and leading a show. I've received those benefits already and not really in need of more attention from people. I know every show is different as we work with different people, but I just have a belief that it is not worth it to spend almost 30-40 hours on that week working on the show where I could use it for something else. Besides, there are already enough people to work on the show, so I wasn't necessarily destroying the teamwork just because I decided to not be part of them. Of course during the rehearsal process that week I do still have some bad feelings about my decision and concerns whether I took the best decision or not. Mainly the concern is again, about people who might think I'm irresponsible for leaving my job as a tech stage for my personal benefits. But look where I am now? It wasn't easy to come up to my leader and say what I think is best for me, but I did it! It was a huge step already and I know every decision comes with pros and cons, it's unavoidable. Nevertheless, I was happy that I took that big step and I could see myself way ahead doing the same thing; saying my real opinion in a situation where I should. I am proud of my decision.
The year has ended, and so do my participation in this awesome exed. I've learned many things that will not be possible without joining this exed. I have met different kinds of people from the least likely person I'll get along into the best partner for this job. As I said before, it has been an ups and downs experience for me. Although, it was still an honor to work for the community. I will never forget how this exed has changed me throughout the year to become more confident and voice my opinion out loud to others. Thank you, It has been a great experience.
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